


YOU & I

by stas22



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Cannon, F/M, M/M, More tags will come, kind of, non-au, side lirry, well as much as possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2018-10-19 22:22:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10649256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stas22/pseuds/stas22
Summary: Zayn Malik left behind the best thing that ever happened to him when management forced him to leave. And he isn't talking about the band.The toll of lying, pretending and keeping secrets was slowly killing him inside, and when management forced him to "shape up or get out", he took the only path he could and left the band. With the support of his four best friends, he made that decision, but its been a year now and a surprise clause thrown in by management has caused a separation between Zayn and his boys. Can he fix things now that they are all doing their own things? Or will they never forgive him? And most importantly, can he get Liam back into his life? Or will be forced to let go of the love of his life forever?





	1. Cover Art

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. So. Yeah.  
> This is a re-upload of my fic LIKE US, and I renamed it.  
> I am hoping to actually continue writing this along with the like 7 other ziam fics im working on.  
> I am not a professional writer. I have no clue what im doing so if anyone has any tips, please let me know.  
> i claim no one and nothing. the cover art is made by me BUT IT IS NOT MY PICTURE. found it on google. so yeah.   
> Enjoy!


	2. Chapter One

Chapter one

      Z A Y N

         _It’s so stupid,_ Zayn thinks to himself as he puts his phone back into his pocket. He thought he had gotten away from all of this shit when he left Modest! Management. When he left behind his boys and the band. But no, just because they did a music video together where they acted all loved up and sexual and now she has been papped in a building right next to the one he was in, everyone thinks they are dating and his management immediately jumped on that bad wagon. Elise, his assistant, had gotten a call while he was in the studio for his radio interview and as soon as the ON AIR light went out, she pulled him out of the room and shoved the phone into his hand.

            “Just meet her for lunch at that little café between your two buildings.” Denise, his PR manager had said into his ear. “You don’t have to do anything extravagant, just let people think what they want to.”

            “We haven’t even spoken since we filmed that music video,” He had hissed at her into the phone as his security led him out of the radio station and into the lobby of the high-rise building in LA. “Why would she be willing to even hang out with me, let alone let people think we were together?”

            “Well Zayn, I didn’t think I would have to remind you that you are a hot, famous musician, who has become a brand name in the industry since he went solo and landed himself a couple of Grammy’s, let alone who just released a clothing line for one of the hottest brands in town. Why would a gorgeous young model be willing to pretend to date you?” She had asked sarcastically. Zayn had just sighed. “Listen, I already called her people and they ran it by her and she is in. You guys meet up and it won’t even look like it was a last minute thing.”

            “But I don’t want her getting the wrong idea. Yeah, if we hang out and hit it off, maybe we could become friends, but if she thinks there is a possibility of something more, we are stopping this immediately.”

            When he had hung up with Denise, they had finally made it to the lobby. Before Zayn had been prepared to just head back to his house and chill for the day but now he had to go meet up with someone he barely knew and pretend to be happy about it. He was shaking with anger about the whole situation. Regardless of whatever the general public thinks, he hadn’t wanted to leave One Direction behind. He was proud of what they did and the people they became, the fun memories they had and the close friendships they had built. No the reason he had left was because the management forced him out. He was getting tired of the shit they pulled on him, on all of them. Forcing them into relationships with poor girls who were wasting their time when they could be actually falling in love with someone, forcing them to record and sing songs that they had very little part in writing or coming up with. They struggled and fought endlessly to get management to allow them to show even a shred of their own creativity. Even when they let them write the songs and have some creative leeway on Four, they still vetoed and argued with most of what the boys wanted.

           The real hardship for Zayn, what really forced him to leave in the end, was the way management was forcing him to marry Perrie. Originally, they had promised to just have the two get engaged for a while and then they could eventually break up. But then they decided that wasn’t enough and had told Zayn he had no choice. And it was one thing to be engaged to someone he didn’t even love, but to get married to someone he didn’t love was the end for him.

          The worst part was the sad looks the boys gave him as they saw him becoming more and more a shadow of himself. The pressure to get married, to pretend to be in love, to pretend he didn’t have other songs he wanted to record, and to pretend he wasn’t in love with his best friend was wearing on him. He started to close down even more, especially in the public eye, talking less in front of cameras and onstage. He was losing weight to the point where fans and gossip mags were saying he was on drugs. And management let them continue to believe it, rather than denying the rumors and god forbid the truth got out.

          While the boys never fully confronted him about it, he knew that they had figured it out. They started to subtly force food on him whenever they had the chance and barely let him out of their sight. But it was management who confronted him about it, yelling at him for the bad image it would give him and the band and how ridiculous he was being. In the end, his anxiety and depression spiked so much and the eating disorder was getting so bad that his mom and dad couldn’t stand it anymore. When management gave him the “shape up or get out” ultimatum, he chose the only one he could at that point. The boys had been tearful and worried when he told them but they had understood. Management had always seemed hardest on Zayn and they could tell he would only get worse because of it. So the split had been amicable.

         When management didn’t get the reaction they had wanted from the split, they told Zayn the only way he would be able to leave was if he signed an agreement that said he would end contact with the boys while they were still under contract. And while it killed him even more inside, he signed on the dotted line. Since then he had changed numbers, gotten new management, and built his career back up from the ashes. He hadn’t contacted the boys or answered any of their reach outs to him, and it had been the hardest part of the whole split. He had no idea what management was telling them about him, and if they were trying to turn his best friends against him. He had kept tabs on them and was so proud of the way they had continued to flourish. Then when the tour for their new album had ended, the boys announced they were taking a break and Zayn had been shocked. And when it was a year later and they were all coming out with solo opportunities and living separate lives, Zayn had started to gain hope. Maybe they had finished their contracts with Modest and had moved on before management screwed their lives up even more.

         “You’re in studio 2 today, Mr. Payne.”

          Zayn’s head whipped up as he heard the receptionist at the front desk in the lobby. He didn’t let himself believe it was possible until his eyes locked with brown ones that he used to know better than anyone else’s.

 _“Liam.”_ He breathed out quietly and he saw Liam inhale sharply.

         “Zayn, we need to get you to the café next door now.” Bruce, one of his security detail told him with a hand on his shoulder. But Zayn couldn’t look away from Liam, he was frozen. He knew that Elise was probably standing by the door tapping her foot with her arms crossed and a frown on her face as she waited for Zayn to get his ass in gear.

        “Liam, they are waiting for you in the studio.” Liam’s body guard, Paddy, walked up to him at that point, but when he saw Liam staring off he followed the line of sight until his own eyes landed on Zayn. “Oh, Zayn, alright mate?”

         Zayn was drawn out of his trance by Paddy’s voice and nodded his head. “Alright Paddy, see you’re still watching out for this donut, yeah?” Paddy huffed a laugh at that and nodded. Finally, Liam seemed to wake up from his own trance like state.

        “Zayn?” He asked hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure if it was actually him.

        “Yeah, Li.” He said back softly.

        Liam ducked his head and swiped at the back of his neck before looking up at Zayn again like they were the only two people in that lobby. And Zayn looked back at him, feeling the same way.

        “What are you doing here, Z?” Liam asked tentatively, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask questions or act like it hasn’t been a year since they have last talked.

        “Yeah, I had a studio recording for a radio interview.” Zayn answered, Liam nodding back. “How ‘bout you mate?”

        “Recording for my album. We’re just about done with it, hoping to release it next month.” Liam said, ducking his head again to hide the flush on his face. Zayn’s mouth dropped open in shock.

        “Li, that’s amazing!” Zayn said, causing Liam to look up at him with a hesitant smile on his face. They stood there smiling at each other for a few moments before Liam seemed to snap out of it, frown on his face and shaking his head.

        “Well, I best be going.” Liam said, waving his hand in the general direction of the recording studios. Zayn started nodding, feeling like a stupid bobble head all of a sudden.

        “Yeah, course. Go make that brilliant record, mate. Know you’re gonna smash it.” Zayn said. Liam nodded, looking at him again for a moment before turning away.

        “Zayn, you need to be across the street like, 5 minutes ago.” Elise huffed, pulling on his arm. But Zayn was too distracted, locked on Liam’s back as he walked away.

        “Leeyum, wait!” He called out, and watched as his former best friend froze in his steps. It seemed to take forever until he finally turned around, his eyebrows furrowed as he waited for Zayn to continue. Zayn pulled his arm out of Elise’s grip and moved towards Liam, whose eyebrows seemed to shoot up out of utter surprise. “Can we meet? Catch up? You can come to my place later tonight, we can have dinner and just chill.”

        He waited as Liam stood there, mouth gaping open, his heart sinking into his stomach as Liam finally unfroze and shook his head again while looking down at his feet.

        “ _Please._ ” Zayn whispered.

        Liam’s head snapped up again, eyes searching Zayn’s face before finally nodding. Zayn tried not to scream out in happiness or break down into tears and instead handed his phone to Liam.

        “Put your number in, I’m assuming you’ve gotten quite a few new numbers since we last talked.” Zayn asked, handing over his phone. He knew Liam liked to switch his phone number every few months in case it got leaked, and he tried not to dwell on the fact that it brought up the large gap in time where they hadn’t spoken. Liam was slowly taking the phone and typing away, so Zayn was counting it as a win. “I’ll text you my address.”

        Liam handed back the phone and nodded. They locked eyes again for a couple of moments before Liam started backing away.

        “See you soon, Zayn.” He said, and then turned around and walked away.

         This time Zayn let Elise pull him from the building, blind to the flashing of cameras, and deaf to the screams of fans. All he could think about was seeing Liam later, being just the two of them again, and hopefully getting back to being them again. He knew he wouldn’t be great company while meeting with Gigi, but he figured that would help get the message across that he was simply doing it because of management. Because if there was anyone he wanted to be with at that moment, it was definitely not her. It was Liam.

 


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah betcha didnt see this update coming.  
> i sure didnt.  
> again, please let me know if you have any thoughts or tips cause i sure as hell have no idea what im doing.  
> i also have no concept of timelines so if anything i mentioned didnt happen in the timeline that actually happened, well thats why this is fiction.

**CHAPTER TWO**

LIAM

 

  _7 pm, my house in LA  
 I really hope you come_

     Liam let out a deep exhale, dropping his head to rest against the back of the couch as he flips his phone in his hands, text left unanswered.

  
     How many times in the past two years has he dreamed of this exact thing happening? Of Zayn reaching out and getting back in contact with him. And after their contracts had ended with Modest! and they agreed to take some time away from the band, his dreams had turned to a successful solo career with Zayn back by his side, all of them making their own ways in the world and being huge before coming back together a few years from now and causing a huge commotion when One Direction finally comes back for a reunion album and tour, all five of them together again. 

     The boys had all been shaken that last year with Zayn, watching him struggle, becoming less himself and more a hollow shell. They all had their difficulties in the band and with management, but Zayn was taking it the worst. They had known about his anxiety from the beginning, did everything they could to help him and make him feel safe, whether it was with Liam's commentary on Zayn's amazing singing skills on stage, or all of them crowding around him like human shields in public places, or a soft hand to the back or hip or arm, just to let him know they were there for him. But when they started to notice things getting worse, Harry was the one who offered up the idea that it could be depression, and Niall pointed out the lack of eating. They had gone to Paul, their father figure on theroad, and he had found them a therapist who was used to working with celebrities. She was discreet and helpful, getting Zayn to open up to her and all the boys about what he was going through. She was the one to point out that the eating disorder was mostly him trying to gain some amount of control over his life, and not due to body dysmorphia or an attempt to self-harm. The boys had taken that as their cue to try and get Zayn more involved on making Four, seeing if having any more control over the album would help, while also not letting him get away with not eating to the best of their abilities. 

     And Zayn had seemed to accept it all, he even seemed grateful. And for a while, he was even getting better. But then there was a blow-up with rumors about drugs, and management allowing those rumors to flourish all the while beating up Zayn about it and then finally forcing the actual marriage to Perrie. And that was the end for Zayn. He couldn't do it, and the boys understood that, they really had.

     They had all made a pact to keep things as normal as possible while Zayn went home and recovered with his family, almost pretending that that was all it was. There was a promise to all take a break when their contracts were up, and then after a while, all get back together again. And in no way were they going to fall out with each other. They were best mates and they would all stick together.

     So after a tearful last night with Zayn, he headed home, and they never heard from him again. 

     They had all reached out, trying to get in contact, trying to get answers. At first they thought maybe it was just too hard for him, like it was for them and that he needed the time to get used to things. But when months went by and management started planting some problematic seeds to the media, the boys started to pick up on something being wrong. 

     "He played you for sympathy." Management had told them when articles claiming that Zayn had wanted out the whole time sprung up. They said that he wanted to get out as unscathed as possible, so he played nice in hopes that they wouldn't go to the press and bad mouth him right away.

     They didn't believe that for a second. 

     But then things started getting worse, fans attacking Zayn for leaving, and management not allowing them to stand up for him. Then people who were around Zayn started attacking One Direction and the fans, making the rift between them and Zayn stronger. When it seemed like fans were no longer hurt by Zayn's departure and more angry and betrayed about it, management decided it would be best to make it very obvious that One Direction was over it, and that Zayn had nothing to do with them now. When the boys refused to take part in any of that, management just used their media outlet, giving made up stories to the press that one of them said something bad about Zayn, using their Twitter accounts to attack Zayn (Louis was furious). 

     Finally Liam had enough, saying that he wanted Zayn to be remembered as part of the group, but that they could move forward without him. For the time being, management agreed and backed off, letting them do their thing as One Direction and for a while Zayn wasn't mentioned. When it came time for the History music video, they all had to beg for Zayn to be pictured throughout it, since management new it was coming to an end, and that they wanted to end on a happy and reminiscent note. 

     Now it's been a year since the boys had finally been let go of from managements claws, and they were all doing really well in their solo careers, and were all still extremely close.

     And while Liam was able to find ways to keep himself busy and distracted, he still found himself thinking about and missing Zayn all of the time. He had definitely taken Zayn leaving, and then disappearing the hardest. They had been attached at the hip, went to each other for everything, were each others rocks. Both of them had gotten so homesick early on in One Direction, that they had taken to finding each other for that comfort, almost always touching in some capacity and always sharing a bed. It was difficult for Liam when Zayn left, and he had practically been a zombie for a while, emotionless and exhausted until the boys stepped in and they had a heart to heart, all of them breaking down in sadness together, and building each other back up. They had come out of that stronger and closer than ever so Liam had been able to move forward.   
     And yes, with all of the rumors floating around, the meddling from management, and the lack of response from Zayn, they did find themselves questioning it a bit, and resenting him a little. But there was never hatred, just sadness.

     So Liam finds himself very confused as he sits here trying to put the interaction with and text from Zayn together in his head with all of the rest of the past two years. And he is sitting there in that same position still thinking when the front door opens and closes, and Harry walks into the living room.

     "Hello love." Harry says, dropping his keys in a dish on the kitchen counter that separates the kitchen and living room, and flips through the envelopes in his hands, sunglasses perched on-top of his head, pushing back his long curls. He walks past the couch, stopping to lean over and drop a kiss to Liam's mouth, before walking to the desk in the corner of the living room and dropping the mail. When he turns back around he realizes Liam hasn't said anything yet and is staring at the ceiling, unresponsive.

     "Li?" Harry asks tentatively, walking over to sit next to him on the couch and putting a hand on Liam's knee. "What's up?"

     Liam doesn't answer or move, other than to sigh and hand his phone to Harry. Harry takes it and looks down, reading the message still on the screen and frowning, glancing back up at Liam with furrowed brows.

     "I'm not understanding, is this some sort of stalker threat or something?" Harry sounds concerned now, and Liam turns his head on the couch so that he is looking into beautiful green eyes.

     "It's from Zayn." He explains in a quiet voice. Harry's eyebrows fly up at that.

     "What-how? How do you know it's him?" Harry stutters out, looking back down at the phone and studying the message. Liam sighs and looks back up at the ceiling again.

     "Ran into him when I was at the studio today." He hears a gasp from Harry and just nods. "He was leaving from an interview recording and I was in the lobby and all of a sudden he was just there and I was looking into those big eyes again and I-" Liam cuts himself off and exhales with a flutter of his lips and a shrug. "I don't know really. He just congratulated me on the album and then asked for my number, said he wanted to meet for dinner tonight and catch up."

     Harry is quiet for a moment and Liam moves to look at him once more. Harry meets his eyes. "So are you going to go?"

     Liam doesn't answer immediately. None of them had turned against Zayn in all this time, they all still loved him and missed him. But when he went ghost on them and Liam broke down, the other lads got a little extra protective. Liam knew that Harry was worried for him. He also knew that this was a little weird for Harry and him, as well.

     Liam took a moment to gather his thoughts, looking around the living room as he did. When One Direction had really taken off and they started traveling to the U.S. more and more often, the lads had gone in together on a house, more like a mansion actually, in LA. It was under all of their names, Zayn's too still, and they all spent time there at some point or another. Back then they had all crashed there whenever they got the change during tours and press junkets, having a large sleepover and chill hang out together in the big house. Then, on breaks they would use it to get together and hang out when the separation anxiety got to be too much. They used it to house their families when they flew in to visit or see shows or needed a holiday. And now during their big solo careers, they all spent a lot of time in the US and LA especially so it got a lot of use from them all, one of them seeming to be there at any given time.

     During the first few months of their hiatus from the band, they had all holed up together in the house. Even though they had all written together or with other writers while in the band, they all wrote on their own as well. During that time, a lot of writing had been done by all of them, but only Niall seemed to have the hardest time sitting still. So after a couple of months he went back to work, going to studios in LA and London and being the first to release a single. They were all so proud. Then Louis went on to work with Steve Aoki, and the passing of his mom, he spent more and more time in London with his family.

     So eventually it was mostly just Liam and Harry in the big house together, occasionally flying off to visit their own families, meeting up with other friends, or doing some work of their own, but they made that house home base for a while. They kept in touch with the others, Nall having fun in Ireland and London, rekindling his romance with Bressie, as his single went big, Louis spending time with his family and finding comfort in Eleanor again.

It seemed almost natural and completely seamless when Harry and Liam transitioned from best mates and bandmates to lovers. They would spend so much time together just lounging around the house, watching tv and movies, sitting quietly together as they worked on their own songs, hanging out in the pool and just having fun. The friendly affection they had been so comfortable with for the entire time they had known each other just kept growing and hello and goodbye kisses turned into lingering kisses, and cuddling and hugs turned into touching and more.  
It wasn't a relationship really. They loved each other, of course, but there weren't really any feelings other than comfort, attraction and familiarity. They had fun together but they knew it wasn't going to turn into any more. Liam knew Harry wasn't ready to settle down, and that he was too much of a romantic to settle for just comfort. And Harry knew especially that he would never be the one for Liam. Which is why the topic of Zayn reaching out to him after all this time made Harry even more concerned for Liam.

"I don't know." Liam finally answers. And he really doesn't. He told Zayn he would, and he had meant it then. But he's not sure he could actually bring himself to go to Zayn's house and be there with him, just the two of them alone for the first time in two years.

Harry grabs Liam's hand then and puts his phone back in his grasp, curling his own hand around Liam's and the phone, rubbing with his thumb soothingly.

"I think you should."

Liam picks his head up at that and looks at Harry, a little surprised. Harry huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes.

"I'm not some jealous boyfriend, Liam. I'm not going to tell you not to see him. I mean, it's Zayn." Harry says with an emphasis like that's supposed to make it all different. And it does, really.

"I didn't expect you to, Haz, I just remember how mad you and the lads were when I told you how I felt about him and broke down to you guys." Harry's eyes soften again at that.

"We weren't mad at Zayn, not really." He sighs. "It was a shitty situation, babe. And we love you. Knowing that you were going through that kind of heartbreak was hard on us and we wanted to fix it. Honestly if it had been any sooner than now, I might have been hesitant to tell you to see Zayn. But it's probably time now."

"I can take care of myself Hazza, contrary to popular belief." Liam says with a small smile, making Harry scoff and roll his eyes jokingly. "I can handle meeting up with him again, even if it hurts me in the end." Harry looks at him with his serious green eyes.

"I know that, Li. And that's why I think you should." Harry curls himself into Liam's side then, head on his shoulder and their hands tangled together on his lap. Liam kisses the top of his head before leaning his own against it. "And who knows, there may be a very good explanation for all of this. I mean, this is Zayn after all. It makes no sense that it took until now for him to contact you."

"What does that mean?" Liam asks, confused. Harry sighs.

"You and Zayn, Liam. You two were a force to be reckoned with." Harry says gently, but still seriously. "You two were something that nothing could separate. What I'm trying to say is that I really don't think Zayn would have ever left you out of choice." Harry quiets then, nuzzling in closer to Liam, who wraps his arm tighter around him. 

Liam pushes his face into Harry's hair and thinks. He's even more confused now than he was before, but he knows one thing for sure.  
He is going to Zayn's tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you are anti elounor i'm sorry.  
> i love bressie and niall so that is for sure going to be a thing somehow.  
> i have a soft spot for lirry so i wanted to show them with a special relationship but i am not going to let their friendship get messed up.  
> I also see harry as a free spirit who loves hard and a lot, so i dont see him in a serious relationship, but i do want him to be with a guy in the end. im just not sure who.  
> ZIAM IS ENDGAME DUH.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos greatly appreciated.  
> if anyone has any suggestions or anything lemme know!


End file.
